Understanding

I'm trying to understand whether the decisions I have made in the past have been correct. 

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm a 30-year-old engineer with a master's degree in a specific field. My life is quite simple; I live with my girlfriend in a rented apartment in the city center. 

I've been impacted deeply by some recent news. I turned down a doctorate along with a job offer. Although it wasn't the best salary, it came with the opportunity to travel to Germany, and sometimes I wonder if that was the right decision. 

Is this what I want for my life? Am I happy with my current situation? Am I sure this is where I want to be, or have I become too busy to reflect on my life? Perhaps I avoid thinking about my decisions while time continues to pass; I just don't want to question whether I'm making the right ones.

Is it a good decision to quit everything and start over? I don't think so. 

Could this be just a midlife crisis? Maybe.

I had a life before this reality, one in which I was always too busy to think about what I was doing with my life. I don’t know if I want this to be my life moving forward. Perhaps I just want to be at home, alone, doing nothing all day.